Growing houseplants in your bathroom: What no one tells you.
Most bathrooms are designed for FUNCTION - bathing, excreting (eww but true), and grooming. They are designed as some of the smallest rooms in our homes (because the building materials are expensive and until the last century or so, people did not do a lot of daily grooming and pooped outside, (we’re just catching up). There is usually very little space to set out cute non-functional decor, and especially LIVING THINGS like plants.
How many things have you had to fish out of the toil that you accidentally knocked in over the years? How do you expect to find room to put a fragile plant that needs lots of light (most houseplants do) in an already limited space?
Short answer, you don’t. Before you click away because I have absconded your plant baby dreams, hear me out. I want your life to be full of plants just as much as you do. They do, after all, make people happy.
Plants need lots of light. Light provides the energy plants need to make the food required for them to grow and flower. You know those tags that say “bright indirect light.” [Which is most of them] Here is what that actually means: Most houseplants would prefer to be in a room with a south or west-facing window, near-ish to that window. East light is good too because it is consistent throughout the seasons. Do you have that kind of light in your bathroom?
Why plants go to die in bathrooms. Bathrooms frequently get built in the interior of homes to make plumbing setup easier (logical). Also, the brightest rooms are where humans want to spend most of their time, so often those prime lighting conditions get used by architects for living spaces. In summary, bathrooms do not usually have the best light in our homes, therefore making your plant selections limited. Don’t worry, you are not a bad plant parent, your bathroom space is simply not set up for plant growing! Learn more about what kinds of light plants need here.
Solution. There are some plants like snake plants, ZZ plants, and spider plants that MIGHT do ok in a bathroom with low light. View it as an experiment!
More realistic solutions: Here are some other ideas to get the plant vibes in your bathroom.
Pick up a bundle of eucalyptus or other greenery from your favorite local florist or grocery store. Greenery lasts forever, especially if you change the water several times a week and snip the end of the stems occasionally. You could even cut some bigger stems from other houseplants you have in your space that need a haircut.
Plant art! If you’re reading this, plant person…You probably already have this in your pocket… Print out some pics of plants you have on your phone and frame them. You could shop a site like Etsy for plant art from local makers or make an afternoon of it and go to artisan festivals.
Fake it. As a horticulturist by trade, I am inherently offended by fake plants. The number one reason? Y’all don’t dust them and it grosses me out. Bathrooms are full of lint and hair. IF you’re going to go that route, I suggest the succulent-looking fake plants, they can often be easily rinsed off and cleaned. Consider how easy the fake plant is going to be to clean before you buy it. Also consider, IF you will actually dust it.
Feature wall. There are so many rad botanical wallpapers (these days designers are calling it “wall covering”) options out there in all sorts of price points. You don’t have to do the whole space, maybe just a wall! Check out this tutorial for how to make your own custom oversized frame. Great if you’re going for a big feature! Or, even use samples like the ladies over at A Beautiful Mess did! You can order samples from sites like Amazon very affordably.
Summary. Plants need a few things consistently y’all. Plants are a lot like people. Give them water, sunlight, air circulation, and food. The scale of our bathrooms and the lighting setup make it tricky to grow most plants successfully in the poo room. Don’t beat yourself up if the houseplants you try do not thrive.
Let me know what plants you have had success with growing in low light. 🔆
